Myst-erious Ramblings

It’s been a few days since the former President’s body was brought to Maldives and buried with all the fanfare reserved for a once-President. From the moment I heard the news of his death I’ve felt like I was watching a tennis match.

On one side were those who considered President Nasir to be a dictator and tyrant, directly responsible for the death of a large number of Maldivians and only a step behind (or forward, depending on who you ask) Maumoon in ruthlessness and hunger for power. On the other side were the people who seemed to think he was the best thing that had happened to the country. So… there were people who thought he was great and almost an equal number of people who thought he was nothing but a big tyrant. There were even those who thought he was a bit of both: a great big tyrant!

Despite the fact that he was a former President I didn’t feel compelled to go and take a look at his dead body while it was displayed for the public inside the Presidential Palace. It was nothing personal since I really felt nothing against him; I was just not interested and there more immediate things that required my attention. The thought of checking out the much hyped about “wonders” inside the Presidential Palace was a big draw, I admit, but in the end it wasn’t enough.

Considering the amount of people who went to see the body, I’m inclined to think there were those who went there just to brag about having seen a dead president, some who genuinely wanted to pay their last respects to a person they considered to be great, some who just wanted to grab the chance to enter the Presidential Palace and those who just wanted to make sure that Nasir really was dead.

Even on the MVBlogs it was the same. There were several blogs that praised him while an equal amount seemed to say good riddance to bad rubbish. The media however seemed entirely focused on portraying the former President in a good light. Every positive aspect of the development of Maldives has now more or less attributed to him, leaving ex-President Maumoon with egg on his face.

There were some who were on the fence too. I think I could be counted among those. Some of my friends hate Nasir because of the Havaru Thinadhoo incident. Those friends whose relatives were directly affected by the incident hate Nasir with a vengeance. To me Nasir was a non-entity. Maumoon came into power long before I was old enough to even understand what a Government was. None of my family members were affected either way (as far as I know) by the change in Government and so I wasn’t raised in an environment where people discussed the heinous crimes said to have been committed by Nasir. Even if it was discussed, I have no recollection of it.

While rummaging through the Dhivehi book shelves at the old National Library I saw many issues of “Aabaaru” (I think it was called) which had cartoons that depicted Nasir as a demon intent on amassing as much wealth as he could before Maumoon the Saviour sent him packing. For many years during my childhood I thought Nasir was a fictional monster, like Foolhu Dhigu Handi or Rannamaari (ok, so they seemed pretty real at the time). Then later, during Social Studies classes in school, I did learn some of the history of Maldives including the bit that the President who was in power before Maumoon was residing in Singapore — but to me that was nothing more than a fact to memorize to ensure an extra mark on my exams.

During the last few days I’ve heard more about how great and how evil Nasir was than I want to know and that has really left me conflicted. So will the real Nasir please stand up? Oh wait. Too late.

It’s the final day of campaigning and I can’t help wondering how things will turn out in two days time. I’m excited, and at the same time a little cautious, at the thought of what changes Maldives would go through if Maumoon is voted out. It’s a big ‘if’ though.

As the first round of the election proved, not everyone wants a president who was already extremely old when some pharaoh came up with the idea to build pyramids. Watching our geriatric leader talk about the new heights that he’s going to take the country to and the tough decisions that the next president will likely have to make, I can’t help but wonder what makes him so sure that he’s even going to be around in a few years time. Sure he’s managed to make it this far (a remarkable achievement, I’m sure) but how much longer can he hold out against the relentless flow of time? He’s likely to just keel over any day now and doctors will find that, no matter the circumstances surrounding his death, he had died of extreme old age. How’s he gonna make tough decisions about the future if he ain’t gonna be in it?

As Chris Rock says “I don’t want a president with a Bucket List!”

I have no doubt that, given the current state of Maldives, Anni has a very good chance of beating Maumoon in a free and fair election. But that’s the thing, right? Is it going to be a free and fair election? From what we’ve seen in the past I have a suspicion that Maumoon is going to win the election with over a 60% majority, regardless of who gets the most votes.

What do you think?

“So who did you vote for in the first round?”

The question came from a close friend whose PC I was trying to disinfect from a whole plethora of nasty viruses and malware. Usually I would respond to that question with some idiotic joke about iBra and how his presidency would revolutionize the lingerie industry. But this time, possibly because I was a little preoccupied with trying to find a particularly nasty malware, I sort of automatically responded with the truth.

“The good doctor got my vote that time,” I said.

“Really? Doctor Jameela? The she-man? Why?”

“Why not? Seemed like the best choice to me and that’s reason enough to vote for him. Who did you vote for?”

“Maumoon, of course!” he said.

“But of course; you can’t imagine anyone else being president can you?”

“That’s because no one else is qualified,” he responded promptly. “What about in the runoff?”

“I’m undecided at the moment,” I said. “But I’m leaning towards Anni, much as I’d hate to have a moronic clown as a president, the alternative is worse.”

“Ah, but you’re wrong there!”

“Am I?”

“Yessss!!! Let me give you a sneak peek into Aneh Dhivehiraajje and then you will see that our salvation can only come if Maumoon remains as President.”

“Sure, go ahead,” I said. “Knock yourself out. I’m almost done with your PC anyway.”

“Hmmm… so let’s say Anni becomes president,” he began in a soft voice. “Everyone knows that he smokes weed and probably does more hardcore drugs as well, which explains his bloodshot eyes and squeaky, cracked voice. He drinks alcohol and it’s no secret that many of his relatives aren’t even Muslim. So you have to agree that in Anni’s Aneh Dhivehiraajje most of our youth will be intoxicated and high on drugs. As a result crime will skyrocket, and national productivity will plunge. Since he’s not a Muslim he would allow people of other religions to go ahead and spread their filthy beliefs throughout the country. Anarchy is sure to follow and total chaos will reign. Most of the businessmen are behind him so almost all of the country’s wealth will be funneled into their bank accounts and nationwide poverty will be unavoidable. And let’s not even talk about the economy! Adhaalath Party is also behind him and no doubt that means religious fundamentalism will have a very strong foothold in the country. Women will be forced to wear those black, full-body veils and all their rights will be for naught! Maldives will become another Afghanistan or Saudi Arabia!”

By then I had begun ignoring the alert messages flashing on the computer monitor and given my full attention to my friend. His voice had become somewhat louder by the end of his monologue.

“Hmmm… daimn! That’s quite a dystopian future you’ve envisioned for Aneh Dhivehiraajje.” I finally said, deciding to ignore the numerous contradictions he had presented during his… er, vision.

“You know I am right! You aren’t stupid.” he said.

“Well, see… the thing is,” I tried to try and make him understand one last time. “What you’ve envisioned for the future is almost, if not exactly, the same as our present. What you’ve just said very accurately describes the state of Maldives right now. And quite surprisingly, we got here with Maumoon as our benevolent and fearless leader.”

My friend stopped. He opened his mouth to say something and then closed it.

“You know I am right!” I told him. “And since we already are living in your version of Aneh Dhivehiraajje, I’m thinking I’ll go vote for change and see if we could get back to our Maldives somehow. It’s worth taking the chance, right?”

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.

“So, how is everything going?” God inquired.

“It is all so beautiful, God,” she replied. “The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking. The smells, the sights, everything is wonderful. But I have just one problem. It’s these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain,” Eve reported.

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc, she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more “symmetrically balanced,” as she put it.

“That is a fair point,” God replied. “But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.” And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden. “Well, Eve, how is my favourite creation?”

“Just fantastic,” she replied. “But for one oversight on your part: You see all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.”

God thought for a moment and said: “You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Now let’s see, where did I put that useless boob…?”

Now: doesn’t that make more sense than all that crap about the rib or thigh?

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Came across this ‘joke’ while Stumbling. I thought this was a worthwhile addition to all those lovely  myths about the creation of man… heheheh

I should have known this would happen eventually when I started uploading my digital paintings and photos to DeviantArt, but it still came as somewhat of a shock. What happened is that someone’s “stolen” one of my works on DA and used part of it on some Rapidshare links forum’s banner graphic without my permission. I got the heads-up from a friend on DA who just sent a simple message saying “check this link”. At first I didn’t realise what he was trying to show to me but the photo at the top did look a little familiar. It took a few seconds for realization to dawn.

Link to the forum

http://www.hotspiceworld.com/forums/

Here is a low-res version of my original painting.

Some time back, when I was very active on DA, several of my DA friends were very upset when their artworks were stolen from DA and put up on Photobucket, sometimes for sale even. It had become quite a big problem for DA users. I was kinda expecting some of my works to end up on Photobucket and wondering how I would react to it but the situation never came about (as far as I know). Probably coz my work isn’t good enough to steal.

Anyway, having finally experienced getting my work used by someone else for their own purposes without my permission, I have to admit that at first I felt quite flattered, probably because it felt good to find out that someone thought my work was actually good enough to steal. But after the initial rush, I’m not feeling too good about it. The feeling isn’t particularly pleasant. ugh!